♥Aliefer (hard_cxre) wrote in mypainexposed,

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Painfully Exposed

1. Name: Alie.
2. Age: 16.
3. Where are you from? Alaska.
4. How did you hear about this community? Lj Search.
5. Give in a small summary what exactly you are dealing with: Self-hate, depression, mental instabilities, suicidal influences, suicidal tendancies, no will to live, abandonment, and insanity.
6. How long have you been going through this? Five years.
7. What are some coping strategies you have done in the past to help you deal? I write songs, poetry and short stories. I also cut & burn myself.
8. If some of these strategies are destructive, please describe what you get out of them.
-Cutting makes me feel real, like i'm alive. Though deep inside i feel dead.
-Burning makes me feel love. It blocks out my abandonment and the voices in my head.
9. What are your goals in life? To finally cope with myself, and become one of the most successful female automotive mechanics.
10. Why did you join this community and what do you plan to get out of it? I joined this community, not out of wanting pity, or sympathy, but to talk to others who are in pain like i am. I'd like advice on ways to cope, and ways to make myself feel more alive.
11. Tell us a little about yourself..these can include hobbies,favorite movies, a funny story..whatever you want: Sheesh. A lot of stuff about me is depressing, but, i do love any horror movie or any movie with gore in it. The only joy in my life as far as hobbies go is, working on automotives. Its great to get underneath a car and bury myself away from people within the gasoline and pipes.
12. Name one song that best describes what you are feeling right now: The deep end .:. Crossfade.
13. Do you wanna wake up tomorrow? No.
14. And finally..post a picture of yourself so we can all ooh and ahh at how beautiful you are!!!! If you don't have a picture of yourself then post a picture or poem that best describes you.
i'll be brave and post a picture.

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